therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i out mim tonsoeep
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
