THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
