Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
from now on my penis is your penis
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
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My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize