my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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