We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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