Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
