I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
