well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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