it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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