You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Someone shit on the floor
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize