What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
