she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
