Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
