Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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