My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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