we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize