You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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