check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
