i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
