This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
