I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
