I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize