respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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