That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
