So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
