i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Boobs speak an international language.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
