I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
