Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
