I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
