i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
