Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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