Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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