We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
