i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
