she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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