I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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