If that was your dad, he is hot
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
