Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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