Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
