she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
