This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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