so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
