i was born a porn star she said
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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