His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
