I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
