So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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