I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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