I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
