Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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