STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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