im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize