ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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