There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My cat gives me a boner
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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