jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
