After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
