Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
