can we get nightvision for the apartment?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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