If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
