therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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