I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
