i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
