Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
