You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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