Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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