I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
