why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
