Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize