Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
