also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
