ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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