The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont even know how to be here
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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